What?!

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!? This is addressed to you EDWARDS FAMILY. You stopped responding to our emails. You haven't answered our calls for days. Initially we thought you may have performed the ceremony without us, but then we saw this post on Bro. David's blog today. Kinda hard to rent out your spare bedroom and drive people to FWBC when you SHOULD BE DEAD FROM CYANIDE POISONING. What is going on? Did you have cold feet?! Are we no longer part of your plans? What happened to Edwardsville? I thought we were the next Jonestown?! If you want to break the pact, just SAY SO, but I think you owe my sister and I an explanation!! I thought we were friends TIL THE END.

Please just talk to us. We feel so distant from you.

FACT: This is my blog!

I will not be disrespected on my own blog. Spew your filth elsewhere!!

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PLEASE HELP

We need a ride to Apache Junction, Arizona. I've posted an ad on Craigslist requesting a rideshare, but haven't received any replies. Please help!! If you're headed I-40 W out of Memphis, please let us know. My sister and I have sold all our earthly possessions, since we won't be needing them. Between the two of us we have $37.43 to help pay for gas. We must arrive before the Edwards family performs the ceremony and we're left behind!!

Goodbye

I will no longer be blogging. My sister and I have entered into a suicide pact with the Edwards family, our only true friends 'til the end.